It's true! Churches, and its parishoners/congregation isn't perfect. Actually, we're far from perfect. We're HUMAN.

There are some seriously evil seeds being sown in our church and things are quite "messy" right now. I'm far removed from the issues, but can feel the fall out that resides in the darkness, behind closed doors. We've been gossip'd at, or "informed" to be more politically correct. And we've nipped it in the bud and ended such conversations swiftly. God is bigger than this mess, and we know he's allowed circumstances (of our human-ness) to continue in order to reach a wilderness where He can shine through and show His glory. It's timely to receive this today... I just want to pray for all of our churches today. May God shine through to show you His glory!

1. Truth Decay

"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place."¹

I'm sure most readers will be familiar with the concept of selective exposure, selective attention, selective perception, and selective retention. In other words, most of us tend to expose ourselves and give attention only to messages we want to hear. Furthermore, we see things the way we want to see them, and remember only what we want to remember. Everything else we filter out. We turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to what we don't want to see or hear.

The fact is we see and hear things not the way THEY are, but the way WE are. We all see things through our mental filter which has been formed by years of past experiences. The more we were hurt or felt disillusioned in the past (unless these are resolved), the more distorted our view of reality will be—and the more selective we will be in what we unconsciously choose to hear and see.

Plus, the more we are into denial about past hurtful experiences and are not being honest with ourselves, the more TRUTH DECAY sets in causing us to distort all other truth (including God's truth) to make it match our distorted perception of reality. For instance, why do so many people twist God's Word to make it say what they want it to say?

On the other hand, the more honest and truthful we are with our inner self (our gut level feelings and motives), the clearer we will see—and the less we will distort—all other truth, including God's truth. Also, the closer our relationships with others will be. People who wear masks to hide their true self cannot have in-depth relationships with others or with God. Masks may look fine on the outside, but masks cannot relate. All maskers have is a masquerade.

Truth decay is destructive to one's physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health. It is a destroyer of societies and opens the door for evil to enter. It is not without very good reason why God desires truth in our innermost being—not for his sake, but much more so for ours.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you are the source of all truth. Please confront me with the truth about me, deliver me from the sin of denial, and help me always to walk and live in the way of truth. Help me to be an honest, open, and authentic person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

1. Psalm 51:6 (NIV).

I'm playing too...

Have you ever?

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby - going to very soon
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

We are beyond pleased to announce the arrival of Kasiah Grace into the world.

Born November 19, 2008 @1642. 6lbs, 12oz, 18 inches.

Her name is pronounced Kay-Sea-Ah .

Well, it's been a while since I've posted and I thought it was high time I posted my birth story. Here goes...

It started November 18, DH's birthday! I got my hair done in the morning and when I got there, I told my hairdresser: "Well, last time I was here, I passed out. Can you make me go into labour next?" She laughed, and did my hair. At the end, she whipped off the cape and said, "You look Fah-bulous, Dah-ling! Now go give birth!"

I then went to West Edmonton Mall, which you may know is the largest mall in North America. I went to the Asian market for something healthy for lunch, then to the "Pretty Party Place" to see what I could find for the Mexican party. But then... my belly started cramping up, and I had to find a rest room FAST! Of course, the closest one was in a nearby department story on the second level. I hurried as fast as I could, and OF COURSE it was the filthiest nastiest toilet! Ugh! But I was in such an urgent state, I could barely muster the time to wipe the seat and them toilet paper it (but I did succeed)! I passed everything I ingested over the past year, I'm sure. And most likely, this is also when I passed my mucous plug.

I went back to the store, bought my purchases and made my way out of the mall. I got home and had to nap. This is unusual for me in itself. I slept for maybe 40 minutes and then started to get ready for my date night with Mike. Got all duded up, and was ready to go when he got home (also unheard of). We drove to the Mexican Restaurant we had picked out and parked across the (very busy street). There was a high traffic volume, so we started to hurry across the street. All of a sudden, I felt a completely different kind of cramp in my stomach. I slowed right down to a point where Mike was almost dragging me across the street (he was scared we'd be killed b/c it was dark out and I was wearing all black?). Weird.

We got into the restaurant and I started timing as per Mike's suggestion. The cramps were 15-20 minutes apart consistently. We had dinner, Mike ate dessert and by the end of our meal, the cramps were 10-15 minutes apart. I don't know why, but I was very skeptical and doubtful that these were the "real deal". We went home, and I set up the online "contraction master" beside the bed. Soon enough, they were 5-8 minutes apart, but it just wasn't consistent, and it wasn't what I was expecting. I called the L&D dept after a while and told them my symptoms. They told me to wait it out for an hour. If things eased off, obviously stay home. But if things intensified or progressed, I was to pack my bag and come in. Within a half hour of that call, things did intensify. Mike was no longer letting me "just ride it out", and insisted we were going to the hospital NOW.

We got there at 1230pm. I was hooked up to the monitor for a while and learned baby's heart rate was elevated (175-205). They were concerned she was in distress, so they started an IV and started giving me fluids. After 3 litres in 2 hours, the heart rate normalized and they admitted me (3am).

Of note, both my Ob-Gyn and my Baby Doc were on call on this night!!! Talk about HUGE BLESSINGS!

At 0400am, a series of unfortunate events took place. I was mixed up with the patient next door. Oxytocin was started. My waters had not yet broken or been broken by my doc. And since I was now having 7-8/10 pain, we had decided to have an epidural. I was sure the sequence of events was mixed up, but they insisted they were in the right. Within 10 min of starting the drip, my pain intensified to 8-9/10 and I started contracting 1-3 minutes apart.

My doc's office is right across the street and the word is that as soon as she heard what was happening, she ran across the street. Turned off my drip, broke my water, reassured me, then tore a strip off of the entire nursing station for their error. The anesthetist came 2 hours later (he was in a C-section and then MIA... and there is only 1 on in the Night shift). The epidural was placed and initially felt quite useful. But I would soon learn that it was not a good placement and I'd experience 10/10 labour pains for the next 10 hours. Fast forward to the last 3-4 hours...

Contractions are still 1-3 minutes apart without adequate pain management. I tried the Entonox (laughing gas), but it made me feel like I was going to throw up. All of a sudden, baby's heart rate goes from 155 down to 88. The entire room goes silent as everyone is silently trying to guess if this is an error in the equipment, if the lead was misplaced, or something. The charge nurse magically appears in the room and the entire room is suddenly parted like the red sea and the room population has tripled! I'm thrown to my left side, an oxygen mask is applied, the oxytocin is stopped and yet another bag of fluids is opened full bore. Within minutes, the heart rate returns to normal and the charge nurse comes to my side and curiously asks, "Do you feel the urge to push?" Huh? What a weird question! I'd been 3-4 cm dilated all day, and felt things weren't progressing...and started to worry about c-section. I told her "NO, I don't feel any urge to push." She assessed me internally and low and behold, I was 10cm dilated! Apparently, this can happen suddenly and then the baby goes into a bit of shock at the transition. But she was fine again and now I had to just wait for the urge.

Strangely enough, within 10 minutes, I DID have the urge to push. And push I did for the next 2.5 hours! I was feeling really fantastic about it all for the first 2 hours, really. I felt I had a lot of energy for it and that I could do anything! I just wanted to bring this baby girl into the world! So with each contraction, I beared down, grabbed hard onto the bars and pushed through 5,6,7 contractions in a row feeling as though blood vessels were bursting through my face! But once that 2.5 mark hit, I was D-O-N-E. It wasn't so much that I was too tired to continue, it was the pain that seemed to be eclipsing all sense and reason. The pain was also in both of my legs, in the quad muscles as well as in the hamstrings. It was excrutiating! And the more I put my legs up to push with each contraction, the more the muscle pain would take over and take away the power within me. It distracted me and soon became all that I could focus on.

Let me take this time to say how unbelievable incredible my DH was for this entire event. He was UNBELIEVABLE! He was strong, and calm, and empowering, and powerful, and helpful and just about everything a women in labour could or would want. Mike kept me focused, and on task. And he lent me strength and faith when I ran short from time to time. And when I hit my wall at 2.5 hours of pushing, he remained his rock solid self. He had me concentrating on his eyes and breathing through to the best of his ability. And when I stopped pushing, he prayed, and commanded me to pray as well. Pray for strength from God, safe delivery of our child, and to give me the power and might to get the job done.

And it was bizarre; I knew refusing to push was totally not going to get the job done, but I knew something was wrong. Deep within me, it felt pointless to push just then. And to breath through the pain of my baby's head in the birth canal with each contraction, and to pray it back in was also stupid. I knew it. And when no one would listen that something was wrong, I said: "I want my shoes. I'm going home!" I didn't really mean it, I was trying to be funny... just so they knew I wasn't out of it. I was lucid, but I was making a conscious decision. I asked them to page Dr. Tam. And amazingly, they did. I guess my antics in the delivery process weren't so far off the wall, and since I'd worked so hard in the hours leading up to this time (and no, I wasn't a loud moaner), they felt I might have a clue and to trust my gut instinct. So I continued to breath through the pain, with Mike's help of course.

My Dr arrived within 15 minutes. She wasn't impatient with me. She listened to me as I told her something was "wrong". She did an internal on me and she agreed. Baby was not straight in the birth canal, her head was turned which was causing the ... well, she was stuck! She told me I had two options: Suction delivery or C-section. Of course I chose the suction. She put the device inside, which was quite painful, but I knew I would meet my baby soon now. I got up and started pushing as though it was a new day. In 8 sets of contractions, my baby was born! She was born also with her arm and hand up at the side of her face in a thoughtful pose, much like the ultrasound pictures of her posing. She was also harbouring the umbilical cord around her arm and shoulder. So when baby came through, I birthed her head and her arm! Talk about tearing? It was a 2nd degree labial tear though, which is apparently a much better tear to get and the recovery is much easier (as I shift uncomfortably on my seat typing all of this out).

Since baby was suctioned out, my plans for a quiet room of an intimate few was lost. I had 2 med interns, a respiratory tech, something similar to a code nurse recording every part of the birth event, my nurse, the charge nurse, another nurse, Dr. Tam, Dr. Jacobs, the anesthetist, and Mike. But by that point, I could care less. Baby did experience some respiratory distress for the first 10-15 minutes. But it was assumed that perhaps baby should have come sooner than she did (meaning, she was stuck and I should have been assessed properly earlier). But she evened out her breathing within 20 minutes and I was FINALLY able to hold her!

What a magical time it is to look into the eyes of that amazing miracle of God. We'd known each other for months and months, but to set eyes on one another was unlike anything I could have anticipated. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and I couldn't quite catch my breath for quite some time, and I certainly couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She is beautiful and amazing and such a wonder. I am blessed beyond all meaning.